Bedrest and thinking back on curses

I can’t do anything for myself, and I have this complex about asking other people to do things for me, afraid of being a mooch. If Brian forgets to do laundry, then I have no underwear. We have nobody to take him to the store, and the volunteer service won’t shop more often than twice a month. If there’s nothing good on TV, I can’t put a movie in the VCR. If I’m hot, I can’t take a cool shower or go for a swim. I can’t even go get a fan. If I get hungry, I have to wait for somebody else to bring me food. If I want a book, I have to wait for somebody to go fetch it. I’m constantly so hot I’m literally dripping sweat, and the a/c won’t get any cooler. Both of my ears are extremely sore from being lain on all day long.

I finally got a software client who is ready to get started, all we need to do is get contracts together to sign. I have no money to pay a lawyer, and can’t find one who will accept payment later. I’m scared to death that if I sign something and commit to going forward with this, something will happen with the babies and I’ll be unable to fulfill my obligations. Then I’ll get sued and lose what little financial security we have, which is almost none.

I can’t even look forward to the cool front with highs in the 70s tomorrow, because Wednesday is yard work day at our complex. All day long. Complete with lawn mowers, weedeaters, edgers, trimmers, leafblowers, and Goddess knows what other loud lawn equipment they can think of. So I can’t open the windows, because I’ll have nobody here to close them when the noisy stuff comes by.

Helpless, useless, worthless, unreliable….

One of the laws of Wicca is known as the Three-Fold Law; basically it states that whatever you do will come back to you three-fold. I personally think this law is directly responsible for our triplets. When we were trying so hard to get pregnant last year, Brian’s best friend and his wife decided to start trying. And how long did it take them? Two months! I was pretty hurt and annoyed and frustrated, and I felt a little vindictive, so I tried to think of a “curse” that wouldn’t really be a curse. I thought, “May she have 11-pound triplets vaginally.” And guess what I got!!! Serves me right!

Published by solinox

I am a Wiccan priestess, a libertarian mother of triplets plus three, a wife and homeschooling mom to blind and autistic children, a fiber artist, and a Jane of All Trades, always learning and seeking to help.

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