Let Go

What I let go of this year was motherhood; specifically, becoming a mother. At Lammas each year, we sacrifice corn dollies in the fire. The dollies represent what we are giving up for the year, what we are sacrificing to the harvest. This year, I made my dolly holding a baby dolly. I put into it all my thoughts about birthing, my joy at holding and snuggling a newborn baby, my love of baby feet, my skills at breastfeeding and slinging, all the baby giggles and baby kisses and baby smells. I sent all of that to the Goddess in return for my own harvest of children laughing and playing, children reading me stories, teaching children to bake and ride a bike and sew, going hiking and learning about nature, building snowmen and going sledding. It’s not easy, but sacrifices never are. I still feel secret longings, wishes for another baby. But I have to let that phase of my life go so that I can enjoy the next one.