My original intended post for today got distracted by a phone call that resulted in a wave of phone rage against a company I’ll be undeservedly nice to by not mentioning here. So instead, we’ll do something different.
The last couple of days have gone really well, extremely well considering how nervous and upset I was Monday night and Tuesday morning. Chores got done, schoolwork got done, everything was getting handled. A combination of things sent today spiraling away from that idyllic perfection of Everything Done On Time, and by the time I was ready to take a shower, I just didn’t want to deal with my hair hanging around drying all day, blowing in my face while I’m at the farm. So I went to put it up, but feeling a bit petulant and grumpy, I didn’t want to do my usual quick-and-dirty hairstyle. Instead, I went with this:
As I was checking the alignment of the rolls in the mirror, the whole image reminded me of S.J. Tucker, the only other adult I can bring to mind who I’ve seen wear this hairstyle recently. (My apologies, Sooj, for the comparison between us.) Sooj goes by the stage name of Skinny White Chick. I certainly couldn’t use that name. I think there’s a requirement that you have to be about half my size or something to use the word “skinny.” What could I call myself that would sound as cool as Skinny White Chick, me with my rolls and tats and my lovely collection of tan lines from this summer’s biking?
I could be Stout Freckly Bitch. Watch out, or I’ll poke you with a hairpin! I could get up on stage and do my own act. Tonight, Stout Freckly Bitch will amaze you by changing a poopy cloth diaper while simultaneously inserting a pacifier with her foot and singing Master of the House! Gaze in awe as Stout Freckly Bitch unclogs the toilet while paying bills and teaching fractions! See her charm the birds as her garden grows more accidental mushrooms than anybody else on the block!
Yup. I’ll be Stout Freckly Bitch now. Keep your eyes open for my next nationwide tour.