I wanted to share my dream diary today because it was such a long series of strong images that stuck in my mind after waking up. Before reading on, note that I watched Alphas last night before bed, along with reading Analog, and some of that most likely crept its way in here. The Alphas show was about a drug that made the body indestructible. Stories in Analog talked of nanobugs that would do the same. One story combined nanobugs and digging for fossils.
I remember a building with elevators that were different and exciting. Instead of going straight all the way up and down, the elevators would only go two floors at a time, and they did that really fast. So going down from a tall building, it would be like riding a roller coaster. You’d get in a whoosh down to the next floor, then wait for another elevator to open and whoosh to the next floor, until you got where you were going. I was riding these with one of my daughters in a big office building, and nobody else seemed to care about the cool new elevators. I think it might have been a medical office building. I was trying to do some business there, but they wouldn’t let me or weren’t interested.
I left the office building and went to a park with the kids. It was a wooded park with cedar trees and a circular amphitheater with wooden benches, like a park in Texas. There were cacti in box planters scattered along the benches. The place was fairly abandoned, with the benches popping boards and belongings scattered everywhere. I remembered coming there with my kids and another family of friends when they were younger. I found coats and toys, and everything I found was something we had had before and lost. I started fixing the place up, dreaming of having people visit it again for nature talks or something. I was replacing boards, nailing down nails, driving large bolts that were sticking up out of the ground back into it so they wouldn’t hurt anybody. I realized that the ground was sandy, and in the middle of the circles was a sand pit with a few sand diggers buried so only bits peeked out. I started pulling them out and uncovering them, like digging for fossils. Every time I unearthed something, I would see some more peeking behind. I started uncovering toys, not just sand toys, but other toys that looked like they’d been buried. Again, everything was something that I recognized as having belonged to us before.
I started gathering things and going through the coats and clothing we’d found, and somehow there was a baby that we’d found. The baby was tiny, a premature baby with translucent skin and barely formed features. I don’t know if it was a boy or a girl, because I remember how the clitoris would stick out at that age and almost look like a penis. The baby was wrapped in a white cloth and may have been crying. I thought of offering it a breast, even though I was dried up, maybe the baby would be able to coax new milk to come out. I needed to get the baby a diaper, and somehow I found one to fit it in my supplies. As I opened its coverings to change it, it pooped, a lot, newborn poop. I had to go find a rag somewhere to wipe it up, and I couldn’t find anything. The baby was laying on the ground, and a young Liam almost stepped on it. Suddenly we were indoors, because I needed a paper towel. I needed something I could get wet and wipe the baby with. I found diaper wipes somewhere, leftover from Kender I guess. I wiped up the baby and gave it a new diaper and went to wrap up the old one, but somehow the baby was still in the old diaper and I accidentally folded it up with the diaper. I opened up the diaper to rescue the baby, and folded the baby up in the new diaper and the white cloth with its head sticking out. I cradled the baby and remembered that I needed to keep it warm, so I kept it close to me, in my arms.
Next thing I remember, I was in a doctor’s office reading lab reports. I’d been involved in some kind of experimental treatments with this doctor, and they were running reports on how I was doing. The labs showed that I had a high level of some linalool compound, and that the baby was mine, and its condition was related to the drugs, and I must never take those drugs again for the rest of my life. Then the report started to descend into gibberish, reading like rap lyrics or like it was written in ebonics or something, and then it got so I couldn’t understand it at all. I was trying to read it to Brian, and we were cracking up because it sounded so awful. I asked the office staff if I could please see the doctor himself so he could explain the results. The doctor came, then said we needed to wait, pulled back a curtain to check on something, and left. The curtain revealed another room behind mine, where there were three bodies lying on stretchers and covered with sheets of wax paper. One by one, their eyes opened, they sat up, removed the paper, and starting getting up and getting dressed, laughing and talking the whole time until they were gone. I don’t remember this as scary, I just was bewildered. The doctor came back and reminded me that the baby was mine, but because it was premature they wouldn’t help care for it, I was on my own. I started thinking of miracle preemies before the NICU era who survived in shoeboxes next to the fire, or being skin-to-skin, and I started trying to figure out how I was going to save this baby, who somehow seemed to be getting smaller all the time. My belly started hurting, and we went to leave, and I found I was in the same office building I’d been in earlier, with the strange new elevators. The parking lot of the building was turning into a campground, with the park and amphitheater across the way, and my mother was coming in with somebody else driving her trailer for her. Brian was saying we needed to deck out the van like some of the other RVs, and I said we just needed to get a trailer of our own if we wanted that. My mom asked about how the doctor visit went, and how long I’d been hurting, and I realized I’d been hurting since we were in the doctor’s office, and I wondered if I were having an ectopic pregnancy in addition to the strange preemie child.
After I woke up to see Brenden off to school, I laid back down and had even more strong dreams. Images of being at a camping function and getting caught out in the rain with Brian, multiple times. Having dinner at a friend’s house with guests I didn’t know, eating fancy food at a fancy table when I just wanted to put my feet up and eat with my fingers.
All of these images are still stuck in my head, hours later, making me wonder what on earth my brain has been up to.