Hit the snooze button at 8:30, get out of bed at 8:40, go to the bathroom, pour up the last of the coffee, make a new pot of coffee, turn on the computer, hand Kender the last of yesterday’s waffles, take all the fans out of the windows and turn on the A/C, get the naked Kender dressed, manage to log on in time for morning devotions, make it through devotions while listening to screaming, door slamming, and furniture throwing until Caitlin makes Kender some toast, get another cup of coffee, reset HabitRPG for the day, take A’Kos potty, go to the bathroom again, morning phone call with the husband, find the rest of the waffles while getting out eggs (*sigh*), make eggs and grits with cheese while sending Tamara to go get hair dye, serve Kender some eggs and ketchup,
Sit. And eat. And read facebook. For 15 minutes. While stopping Kender from climbing on the dining table to turn out the lights.
Get my card back from unsuccessful shopper, take the medicine I forgot to take before breakfast, give Kender an eyedrop, pour another cup of coffee, dig for matching storage pieces to put away the leftover eggs, switch the computer to Jarod’s account, throw clothes on without a shower, take A’Kos potty, pour coffee into travel mug, drive Caitlin to her friend’s house, buy hair dye at Meijer, download World of Warcraft for Jarod, give Kender an eyedrop, send Liam to Save-a-Lot for groceries, dye Tamara’s hair and my hands purple, send Jarod to walk A’Kos, remind Liam to do his chores (feed the dog), fill out
Tamara’s camp paperwork, balance the checkbook, take vitamins, morning altar prayers (yeah, it’s not morning anymore), reheat leftovers for Kender’s lunch, clear and wipe the table from breakfast dishes, renew Warrior Hat listing on etsy, pour up the last of the coffee, make another pot of coffee, put my hair up, start a load of laundry (need to make more laundry soap), toss A’Kos a sweet potato dental treat, file a couple of broken nails, stretch and practice French, tell Caitlin she has to come home and babysit, put the coffee back in the travel mug, pick up soap at Meijer along with the cash Tamara needs to buy pizza for dinner at cheer night (not optional), pick up Caitlin from her friend’s house, admire Tamara’s hair, potty break for me, take A’Kos potty again, make a peanut butter sandwich and grab a soda for the road, leave with Tamara and her things, get gas and free food at Speedway,
And drive. Drive, drive, drive, Free Talk Live and BBC radio Pagans Tonight. Over 2 hours to get to Tamara’s cheer camp, check her in, wait for the meeting about how girls are so emotional, sorry dads but moms you know what I mean (no, I don’t, this is why I welcomed the opportunity to change my facebook gender to “nonconforming”), then drive, drive, drive some more, 2 hours all the way home, no stops.
Home again, potty break for me, take A’Kos potty, get some cold pizza and another soda and sit and eat and facebook for another 15 minutes.
Give Kender an eyedrop, take my pain pills that I forgot to take in the car with me, put laundry in the dryer, put more laundry in the washer, put my hair back up, file another broken nail, take my vitamins, make more laundry soap. Stirring a pot for 20 or 30 minutes while making something useful or nourishing for your family can be a meditative, magickal act of intention…but not when you’re taking Hacky Boy’s temperature, sending him in to take a steamy shower, fetching him a puke bowl, then sending another child in to take the bathroom rug down to the laundry room because you can’t leave the stove in the middle. Set the soap up to whip in the morning, get Hacky Boy out of the bathroom and mop up the floor where he didn’t tuck the shower curtain inside the tub, spend 15 minutes digging for a syrup container that apparently doesn’t exist anymore before pulling out and washing an old syrup boat whose top breaks as soon as I screw it on tight, send the husband off to the brewpub, make cough syrup for Hacky Boy while sending the husband to take A’Kos potty and the remaining daughter to put pajamas on Kender who is now screaming because he realizes he’s not getting a bath tonight, reassure Hacky Boy that I will give him copies of all my recipes when he grows up and moves out including the medicines that taste nasty and work wonderfully, spend 10 minutes soaking my new ear piercing in salt water while calling for another child several times to see what Hacky Boy is hollering about in the living room, open a jar of banana rings that Kender got out of the fridge, realize that I’ve now missed both the object creation class I had planned to take and the one that I didn’t find out about until I was already on the road today, announce bedtime, give Kender an eyedrop, take vitamins, turn off the tv, retrieve an empty popsicle wrapper, use kleenex, a spoon, and socks and shoes out of the living room, haul the sick one off the lovesac and administer Advil and then more cough syrup, clean up when he finally throws up, reassure him that he is not wheezing, move the light table off A’Kos’ bed and retrieve his toys, check the sick one’s fever, catch Kender and endure the ensuing beating, put Kender and A’Kos to bed and sing rock-a-bye, plug in the book player, realize the wrong cassette is one and fetch the bedtime one (currently the first Harry Potter book), start the book, turn out the lights, take pain medicine, put Kender and A’Kos back to bed, start studying object creation on my own, put Kender and A’Kos back to bed, check on sick child, log on while listening to screaming, crying, coughing, and beating furniture, let the husband back in, give up on building and go back to studying other things, put Kender back to bed, check on sick child and bring him kleenex box, back to studying, put Kender back to bed, back to studying, put Kender back to bed…
It’s midnight. Time for a beer and a smoke and some reading before bed. Just another day.