I first learned how to run just a few years ago. I have never been an athletic person. I was always the musician, the geek, the bookworm. What got me started on running was seeing an old high school friend take up the challenge via the Couch to 5K (C25K) training method. She also was not somebody I remembered as being athletic, but she was able to take this program and end up running a whole race. So even though I had never run more than a few steps at a time in my entire life (even in school PE classes I managed to avoid it mostly), I took up the challenge to run a 5K.
When I started out, it was a secret. I asked to go shopping at the sporting goods store for my birthday instead of getting presents, but I didn’t even tell my husband why. I was so afraid of failing and looking stupid for trying. I told my oldest son, but only because I asked him to babysit when I went out the first time. That night, I told my mother, who was in the hospital at the time, because I wanted to share how proud I was that I had gone for a run.
I didn’t tell my husband for a few weeks, going out in the mornings after he left for work and before most of the kids were up. I struggled with the running. I felt like I was going to die after every run. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like I was going to fall over. I even pictured myself just falling over at the side of the trail, collapsed until somebody came to save the stupid fat lady who thought she could run.
One day, I was doing my last run interval of the day while running up a hill near the exit to the cemetery I frequented. I kept going and kept going until at last I had to stop, I knew I just couldn’t finish the interval.
The announcement to stop running came less than 5 seconds after I stopped. I had almost made it!
I never quit early again. I always kept going, just a few more steps, just a few more steps, just to that tree, just to the next tree, anything to keep myself moving.
And within just a week or so of that run, I suddenly realized that I knew how to run. I had figured it out. Whatever the trick was to running, whether it was deep breathing or pacing myself or stride technique, I had figured it out. I no longer felt like I was dying. Sure, I was a slow turtle in the grand scheme of things, but I was running.
I had to quit after a couple of years because I pushed too far. I was so excited to be a runner and to realize that I could do this, and I wanted to see just how far I could go. Turns out my limit is probably 8K. And that’s okay. That’s more than I used to do, and pretty soon I’m going to get back out there and kick it again. Because now I know I can do it.