I was asked today what my purpose was in attending seminary, and how long I would be in school there. At first I didn’t really have an answer. I know that I sort of joined on a whim at first, following a friend because it sounded like fun. I really had to think about it today, and the question lodged in the back of my mind until I got it sorted.
I think it’s an important question, considering how much of my time is being spent on this effort. As of today, I am spending 5 hours a week just in class, each class with it’s own list of readings and assignments, plus another hour in volunteer meetings for the organization that produce their own workload. I’m working along an initiatory track as well, which means additional meetings and assignments from my teacher. To give proper attention to all of it would probably mean 5 hours of study or class every day, an unattainable goal on top of everything else already on my plate, and with a body that likes to knock me down whenever I try to do too much.
If I had to boil my purpose down to a single statement right now, my goal is to become the best priestess I can be. All of the other things are linked to that one purpose: attaining Third Degree, acquiring a bachelor’s or even master’s degree, acquiring the skills and experience needed to start a church when we move back to Texas. It all goes back to learning as much as I can to practice the Craft to the best of my ability.
Mastery of the Craft is something that I have wanted ever since my teens, but I have always found it difficult to pursue, feeling trapped as a solitary for decades with very little contact with others who shared my path. When I finally connected with a church, I joined and participated 100%. When I was offered an initiatory path in that tradition, I only waited about 30 seconds (ok, maybe a day or two) before accepting. As soon as I found out about the seminary and determined that it was something I could do, that it fell within my budget and location requirements, I signed up, right in the middle of their academic year and ready to jump into the deep end head first. It’s a good thing that I no longer have any nurslings or diapers to tend, that the work to get A’Kos is over with, and that most of my kids are able to pull their own weight around the house!
So far every step I’ve taken has indeed led me farther down the path that I feel is integral to my life’s work this incarnation. With every move, I have stretched my personal boundaries and abilities, and I have increased my knowledge and confidence. Looking back, I can see each part flowing logically into the next. The road has had bends and hills and the occasional crevasse, but it has been a single road.
Right now, it is very busy. But I can feel the energy of the work I am doing, I can feel the pace and rhythm of the learning and the connection with my fellow students, the way all my classes mesh together. Sure, it’s possible that I could back off and just do one class at a time, one thing at a time. Spend an hour a day instead of three or five. But right now, I think I would lose a vital piece of what I am learning and experiencing. So I’ll keep on keeping on, and just remember to make sure I pay enough attention to my family while I do.