There was always that moment after having a new baby when I first took that baby out in public, a few days after birth or coming home. Whether it was one baby or three, whether it was the first or the sixth, those moments share some things. I was always a wreck. Trying to cope with suddenly having multiple babies at home, recovering from a c-section, or just beat up and feeling like I was swimming in blood, I was always tired. We might go to Wal-Mart or Sams or the Babies-R-Us store, or maybe to Brian’s office to show off. Wherever we went, I always felt like I had a neon arrow pointing down at my head from above as I walked through crowds. I had a miracle strapped to my chest or in this stroller. A baby! A new baby! They still smelled sweet, and they made little grunting and cooing sounds in my sling. A whole new person, right here, the existence of the baby outside my body became an enormous thing that filled my whole experience. It was huge, it was magical, how was it that I could walk through the crowd and nobody noticed anything? It’s a newborn baby! I grew this baby, and now it’s here and we can touch it and cuddle it and talk to it.
Sometimes I miss breeding.