I Am a Helper

helpinghandsAlthough I know this is an important piece of me, this may be a small post because I think I have it fairly well balanced.  I do like to help.  I think it dovetails nicely with being a fixer.  I want to help people.  I want to help clean up the party.  I want to help find that person a job.  I want to help and support this person as they embark on an adventure or new stage of life.  I wish I could help everybody.

I keep it under control, though.  I know that I have to take care of myself first, or I can’t take care of others.  I know that I have to feed and clothe my own children before I can feed and clothe others.  I know that I can’t give money to every cause that I believe in, I can’t give my time to every friend and needy stranger who could use it.  There is only so much of me.

Sometimes I may have difficulty understanding when people don’t want help.   I think I’m getting better at that. I try to remember to ask first, especially before doing anything that invades somebody else’s personal space.  I’m a little too free on giving advice, though.  I tend to run at the mouth when I think I have something to offer on a subject.

I don’t think that wanting to help comes from image concerns, or from my status in my social circles.  I could see that being a possibility, that wanting to help could be a learned behavior produced by social expectations.  I’m sure some cultural conditioning is in there, but I don’t think it’s everything.  There are a lot of heartless bastards out there coming out of the same culture.  Sure, I strive to improve myself, and one of the avenues I may choose is through improving the quantity and/or quality of the help I can provide to others.  However, that doesn’t diminish the existence of the original impulse.

Other people express concern that I don’t do enough for myself, while I worry that I don’t do enough for others.  In that, I think there is a balance that says maybe I am doing it right, at least on this part.

Published by solinox

I am a Wiccan priestess, a libertarian mother of triplets plus three, a wife and homeschooling mom to blind and autistic children, a fiber artist, and a Jane of All Trades, always learning and seeking to help.

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